


An Uncertain Feeling

by Selenay



Series: Friendship and More [6]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Episode Related, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-01-23
Updated: 2005-01-23
Packaged: 2017-12-15 04:38:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/845411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Selenay/pseuds/Selenay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post-The Storm, Elizabeth is still frozen inside.</p>
            </blockquote>





	An Uncertain Feeling

**Author's Note:**

> Set a few hours after 'The Storm' ended

The storm was over and everyone had returned to Atlantis. Elizabeth stayed in her office long enough to oversee the final batch of returnees before shutting down her laptop and leaving quietly. Grodin nodded as she walked past and returned to frowning at the screens showing Atlantis' damaged sections. A small part of Elizabeth felt guilty for leaving when there was so much work to be done, but not for long. She couldn't remember the last time she had slept and there had been no time to change or even clean up since the storm subsided. It had been far more important to ensure the safe return of her people.

The corridors around the control room were busy when Elizabeth walked through. It would take several trips in Puddle-Jumpers to return the Athosians to the mainland and until pilots could be spared they would have to stay on Atlantis. Nobody was sure yet whether they had much to return to. The storm had probably destroyed the crops they'd invested so much in and Ford had not been encouraging about the state of the buildings.

Elizabeth wove her way through the crowds to her quarters and closed the door behind her with a relieved sigh.

Her hair and clothes had dried out hours ago, but she still felt half-frozen and her muscles ached from hours of suppressed shivers. Elizabeth dropped her clothes untidily as she walked towards her bathroom, too exhausted to care about the uniform anymore.

There was plenty of hot water in the shower. Elizabeth spent a while just letting it pour over her and wash away the icy, shivery feeling. Scrubbing her hair felt wonderful and she had to remind herself fiercely that they had no idea where their next supplies would come from before she used all the shampoo she had.

She eventually climbed out of the shower, dried off and dressed in jeans and a warm sweater. The abandoned uniform was left on the floor.

Elizabeth had to towel her hair roughly and leave it to dry. Apparently the Ancients had never needed hairdryers. She still felt too keyed up to sleep, despite the exhaustion, so she lay down on her bed with a book and tried to read. Usually reading helped to settle her mind, but not tonight. After a couple of minutes she got up and found an extra blanket to wrap around herself. Damned shivers.

The words swam dizzily on the page in front of her. Elizabeth closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose, trying to will away the headache that had lurked there for hours.

Her skin felt tight. Elizabeth could almost feel Kolya's hands on her arms. The thought made her shudder and she pulled the blanket tighter.

It was almost a relief when someone knocked on her door. Elizabeth threw her book onto a chair and went to the door.

Somehow she had been expecting Teyla. She had no idea why. The moment she discovered that Atlantis was in danger, she had pushed the memory of their kiss into a deep recess of her mind. Now she found that she had been unconsciously hoping that Teyla would look for her.

And Teyla was here, standing in the doorway. Elizabeth couldn't move. There was a cut on Teyla's lower lip that she couldn't pull her gaze away from.

"Elizabeth?" Teyla said uncertainly. "Is this an inappropriate time?"

"No," Elizabeth said, surprised to find that her voice cracked. "No, not at all. Come in."

They stood silently in the centre of Elizabeth's quarters for a long moment. Elizabeth couldn't think of anything to say.

"I was visiting Sora," Teyla said eventually.

"How is she?" Elizabeth asked, not really caring about the answer but needing something to fill the quiet.

Teyla shrugged. "Confused. It will take her time to adjust."

"I have no idea what to do with her."

"She wanted me to kill her," Teyla said. "She knew that she could not win, but I believe she hoped that I would have to kill her to stop her."

There was a dark patch on Teyla's jaw, a bruise beginning to stand out. Elizabeth's hand rose to touch it before she could think and Teyla flinched.

"I'm sorry," Elizabeth said quickly, pulling her hand away.

Teyla took a step forward and clasped Elizabeth's hand, rubbing and chafing it. Teyla's hands felt scalding against Elizabeth's skin.

"Your fingers are cold," Teyla said gently. "You surprised me."

Elizabeth allowed Teyla to take her other hand, barely noticing as her blanket fell to the floor. She was caught again by the look in Teyla's eyes, the same look that she'd seen a few days ago on their balcony. It sent odd flutters to her stomach. She wondered whether Teyla could feel her hands shaking.

The silence grew heavier, filled with tension and emotions seemed more than Elizabeth wanted. Teyla's hands stopped moving. Elizabeth flicked her gaze down to the cut on Teyla's lip. There was no thought as she moved closer and brushed her lips across Teyla's.

They were warm, almost too hot against Elizabeth's cold skin. She told herself that she should move away, stop this, but she couldn't. She pressed more firmly and Teyla responded, caressing her mouth in a hungry kiss that Elizabeth soon became lost in. She wanted to drown in the kiss and never escape.

Teyla hissed and moved back a fraction. Elizabeth opened her eyes and frowned. There was a drop of fresh blood in the cut on Teyla's lip.

"Did I hurt you?" Elizabeth asked.

She pulled one hand out of Teyla's grasp and brushed the blood away with her thumb. Another droplet welled up.

Teyla shook her head. "You didn't hurt me, Elizabeth."

There was a shy smile tugging at the corners of Teyla's mouth. Elizabeth cupped her cheek and leaned in for another slow kiss, grinning against Teyla's mouth when the other woman hissed and winced again.

"No?" Elizabeth asked.

"Perhaps I am a little bruised," Teyla said ruefully.

Elizabeth tugged her over to a chair and gestured for Teyla to sit while she went into the bathroom and dampened a clean face cloth. Kneeling and wiping the blood away from Teyla's mouth felt odd, more intimate even than the kiss. Teyla's cheek was soft and warm and Elizabeth felt a tingle in her fingers every time she touched her.

It was confusing. This was the kind of thing she should have been doing with Simon, but had she ever been around him long enough to tend wounds or care for him? There had always been a job somewhere, a person or a group that needed her skills far more than he did.

"Elizabeth?" Teyla asked, worried.

"I shouldn't be doing this," Elizabeth said quietly, unable to look at Teyla.

She felt cold again. The cloth fell from her nerveless hands and she scrambled to stand and move away before she could touch Teyla again. Shivering, Elizabeth picked up the blanket and wrapped it around herself tightly.

There was a sad expression in Teyla's eyes as she picked up the damp cloth and folded it neatly. "Now I have hurt you."

"No, it's not your fault," Elizabeth said.

"I kissed you."

"The first time," Elizabeth said. "I kissed you this time."

"And I did not refuse."

"Why did you kiss me?" Elizabeth asked.

There was a long pause before Teyla answered.

"It seemed . . . right," Teyla said slowly.

Elizabeth tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and pulled her blanket tighter. "I'm breaking a promise that I made to someone I care about. I've never done anything like this before. But when you're here, it feels right."

"Perhaps I should leave," Teyla said.

Neither of them moved. There was a long, tense silence. Elizabeth was torn between watching Teyla and keeping temptation out of sight. She settled for staring at a photo of her parents that she kept on a shelf and occasionally glancing over at Teyla. Her photo of Simon had lain in a drawer for months, taken out sometimes when she was missing him but often not thought about for days at a time.

"I don't know what to do next," Elizabeth said eventually.

"Nor do I," Teyla said. "Elizabeth, I would not want you to break a promise or be unhappy."

Elizabeth smiled weakly. "I don't know what will make me unhappy at the moment. I came to Atlantis on the understanding that I might never be able to go back to Earth. Simon knows that. At the moment, I still don't know whether we'll ever be able to get back to Earth. I knew what that meant when I accepted this mission and I didn't think that I would find anything here that would make me question my promises to Simon."

"Have you?" Teyla asked quietly.

"Yes," Elizabeth said. "And it frightens me."

"Why?"

"Because it complicates everything too much."

Elizabeth sat down on the edge of her bed, suddenly feeling too cold and tired to deal with the situation anymore. Burying her head in the sand had never been her way, but it was hard to think when her head was buzzing with exhaustion and all she really wanted was to curl up in a warm bed for at least twelve hours.

"I should leave," Teyla said.

Elizabeth shivered. "That would be the sensible plan."

Teyla stood and moved to the door, but she hesitated before hitting the panel to open it. "Perhaps the sensible plan is not always the right plan."

For a moment Elizabeth didn't understand and then Teyla turned away from the door. The bed dipped slightly as Teyla sat down beside her. Elizabeth didn't resist as Teyla cupped her cheek and turned her face towards her. The kiss was soft and gentle.

"I will stay here tonight, if you wish me to," Teyla said. "We both need sleep. Everything will seem clearer in the morning."

"I'm not sure whether this is a good idea," Elizabeth said hesitantly.

Teyla smiled. "Nor am I. But you are still cold and many times I have found that sharing body heat is a more efficient way of warming than layers of blankets."

Elizabeth told herself that she should send Teyla away as she waited for the other woman to remove her boots and jacket. Crawling under the bedcovers and curling up in the darkness with Teyla was absolutely not what she wanted.

She had to admit that Teyla's compact body was a much better heat source than the blanket had been. Elizabeth had just enough time to appreciate that fact before she fell asleep, unaware of the gentle smile on Teyla's face.


End file.
